Family - Ohana - Part 1

hat do you think when you hear the word Cancer? What does it mean to you? Have you ever experienced it, lived it, or feared it? It is fairly complicated to understand until you have had to deal with it yourself – whether it is a family member, friend, or even yourself that is in fear of it. What is your first thought, when the idea is put into your head by the doctor? My first thought was - how? I did not think it was physically possible for me, nor anyone in my family to have to hear that word describing their own health. It is so unreal that you just cannot even begin to fathom the idea of it becoming a reality. On September 16th, 2014, Cancer became a reality for my dad, myself and my family.

It is hard to accept at first, and it does not get much easier with the passing of time. It started September 14^th when Cancer became a concern after the doctor’s found a large mass in my dad’s pancreas. I am living a Cancer nightmare – my parents are only 56 years young.

September 18^th rolls around and we find out that his Cancer has not spread outside of his pancreas but the tumor is so large that it is inoperable, and needs to be shrunk with chemotherapy before it can be removed. Every day went in slow motion from here. To find out that he has Cancer was hard enough, but it is now October 13^th and my dad still has not started chemo.

October 7^th was the day that my father’s insurance company decided they were basically going to let him die. They will not approve the chemo and procedure unless the procedure to remove it is done first. The only reason my family has decided to do the Chemo first is because, according to three different doctor’s, the likelihood of death is 40% when doing the surgery first, before shrinking the tumor.

We are all at a loss for words when we look at our dad, our husband, our friend. We wonder how long it will be before something happens to him. But you know what? We can’t keep thinking those things. Our dad, husband, and friend needs us there. We need to be strong for him, help him keep his mind off these things. Yesterday I witnessed him being the happiest and most active I have seen him in months, and it was not until then that I realized how much he was hurting before, how much he had changed because of all of the pain he was in.

Pancreatic Cancer is one of the leading cancers for death but I know we will continue to create memories together for years to come – we got this, we are fighters.

Ohana means family, and family means nobody is left behind.

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Koss/Vacante Family August 2013